Focus

“This year is definitely not a good year for you. You’ve got a great amount of plans in your mind that you’re dying to do but none of them materialized and so you’ve been struggling a lot”, my bestfriend’s vietnamese mom’s fortune-teller-friend told me. “You must decide on what you really want to achieve”, she added. Me and Marvin, devout catholics, skeptic on fortune telling, who never rely our luck on superstitions just put on blank faces on her statements.

The encounter with someone who can somehow read our minds and predict our future was indeed an experience that opened our minds into a new dimension of thinking. Though we’re really skeptic on the process that we went through that day, it somehow made us reflect on the one thing that we lack or lost to say the least and that is focus. We’re about to fail and lose our plans because we tend to do and achieve everything.

Fifteen years ago, my mind was set to one thing and that is to be self-sufficient. It indeed happened after graduating from college and immediately landed on my aimed job. I was doing perfectly well at work so promotion came very easily. With my earnings that provided me more than enough for my needs, I was able to send a couple of my siblings to college and paid off our amortized house in the province. It was beyond what I thought I could do. To add up to my goals, with some wishes coupled with fervent prayers, I aimed to give birth to my own child and have a family by the age of 30. And so Marvin and Bea came to my life in His perfect time, in sync to my plans.

There may be a lot of reasons why I lost track on my goals. I know for one that my being such a control freak had something to do with it coz getting into marriage put me into some realm where my manipulative nature bumped into certain temporary boundaries I need to live with. Also, perhaps I no longer plan for myself but for the future of our family which caused my mind to clutter.

Similar to photography, it’s time to change lenses now and shoot targeted objects with clarity and perfection. =)