Making Decisions

We noticed that when the year 2007 started, we were bombarded with a lot of big opportunities that entail us to discuss, brainstorm and argue in order to come up with decisions we deemed wise.

Last month was the job assignment in Japan which I rejected due to reasons that I cannot afford to leave my spouse with our 14-month old baby for a long period of time and there are some very important family plans we need to execute this year. We admit coming up with such a decision is very difficult for us. If we only let ourselves be lured with the financial gains that overseas assignment bids then our decision is otherwise. Money is always one of the deciding factors indeed. But we stood firm on our decision and we are happy with it, no feeling of remorse whatsoever.

We may find the answer if we closely discern what's behind our decision which we thought of a million times to refuse the job assignment in Japan. Right now we face again one of the biggest crossroads we've been into so far. The most awaited letter from the embassy Marvin applied for a citizenship approximately five years ago arrived last night requesting for an update on some documents to push through with the application process. But why the excitement we're suppose to feel was replaced with anxiety and apprehensions? Probably because a lot of things have already changed, priorities placed on position, plans while on the waiting period are on the verge of execution and we already are three now (Marvin applied when he was still single).

(URGENT: we should comply with the requirements within 60 days)

Coming up with a decision might not be as difficult as we expect if we only don't have a kid. We'll not be having second thoughts if it's currently Marvin and I to leave. Don't get us wrong on blaming our darling Bea, we're just unselfishly deciding because we don't want to subject her to immense changes if we decide to migrate overseas. It's no simple life migrating abroad without family and relatives to inhabit with. We're not comfortable envisioning our first months or years there acquiring a permanent job to sustain our family's needs. It's obvious that only my husband can work full time since I'll be taking care of our daughter. This is where fear started to creep because our current condition here in the Philippines is still tolerable somehow. It's the fear for the unknown.

Pessimism might have clouded our decision making because it was fear we first started to feel. On the other side of the coin, our life overseas might just be the one we've always been dreaming of. There's always this premise that no guts no glory. If we could withstand the birth pains of pursuing life outside our country land, using the best of our abilities and skills to survive then we'll most likely to succeed.

Whatever our decision may be, we'll see to it that it has been seriously thought upon countless times because it will change our life forever. We hope that God will always guide us and let His will be done on our family.

Parental Authority

Our little one is growing so fast. In two to three years time she'll gonna be a full blown toddler. Now why am I getting anxious on that progress? Because she'll start learning a lot, from the things she see and hear, from the people she spent most of the time with, from everything around her environment. There are other reasons and issues - much more serious ones.

In our situation where we follow the exceptional rule of having a two-income family, as working parents, we count on a househelp and Marvin's mom to take care of Bea in our absence, which we feel our daughter is in good and capable hands. We need to make a living to support our family and our child and children to be. Well, ideally, no one should have a child until one is financially and emotionally prepared for parenthood, but the ideal is hardly the rule. Or should I say that some part of the history repeats itself. Both Marvin's parents are also working professionals and he and his siblings were also taken under their grannies care while their parents are away. I too am a granny's girl, living with them for almost a year or so during my pre-school years.

At the outset, I find it perfectly OK with grandparents babysitting their grandchildren during the day when both parents are at work. So long as the child is still able to distinguish between the real parents and grandparents and is able to discern who exercises real parental authority. My concern is if our child recognizes the other way, accepting no other parental authority than the grandparents.

I'm not writing this against my very kind mother-in-law but these are just some apprehensions I can't avoid to think about. Some fears that may or possibly wouldn't happen in any way.

Marvin and I and Bea's grandparents might be sharing the same belief and principles on child-raising, both being brought up in a traditional family, we may not have serious issues over this matter. But then I still believe in the "generation-gap" phenomenon, on the difference between child raising practices 20-30 years ago. This is not limited to this issue alone since I also consider the issue on discipline. Grandparents are notorious for spoiling their grandchildren, which might be a manifestation of how a person mellows down with age.

We may not have totally surrendered our parental authority to Bea's grannies but overall, we are still confined to their rules since they're our parents and we co-exist with them in the same house. It might be confusing to our young child being subjected with two different sets of rules imposed by two different parental authorities. But we can't just simply take away from them their source of joy which I think fills a void in their lives during their twilight years. Maybe, when we too become much older, we'll also seek our grandchildren the way a typical granny does. But definitely for me, I'll keep my hands off raising them and allowing my children to have their rights exercised on what they believe it is best for them to raise their children. Mothers might know best, but I'll never subject them to parental authority tug-of-war unless they've deeply urged me to do so. =)

Public Exposure

It was the first time that we brought our little girl Bea with us in a company event. We should've already done it during the Family Day last year but she's still months old. Besides, the office premises might just harm her with most of the employees having cough and colds during that time. But this time, the company outing at Caliraya Recreation Center at Lumban Laguna added to her experience to socialize with other people, ride different means of transportation (a boat and a jeepney) and let her be in other places away from home.
She enjoyed a lot even of she wasn't able to plunge into the pool because of the windy weather, it's cold. We thought she can show off the very cute two-piece bikini I bought for her =). Anyway, we still had a good time watching the games played by inter-department, strolling around the place, reading the books and playing the toys we brought for her. She likes book a lot by the way.
Til our next escapade! =)