Visitors

Never experienced staying in the house for too long (approx 2.5 months) in my entire life without going out. My world is just evolving inside the house of the Candazo's where we are temporarily staying. My hubby's in Japan for a business trip for a couple of months or so. It's just me, our baby, my hubby's family and the househelps. I barely go out (just to nearby Mercury drugstore), I mean I can't go out (to stroll around) because I'm still recuperating from surgery. Also the fact that I'm not familiar with Marikina yet. Haven't tried going around the place riding PUVs, always with a car.

But my maternity leave wasn't very boring at all. Thanks to my close friends, families and relatives who paid me some visit even though we we're miles away from them. It relieved me of my loneliness somehow. My very dear uncle from US whom I've not seen for almost 5 years together with his wife visited me. Though for just a couple of hours of conversation over lunch, it made me feel at home again, together with my family and relatives. Not to forget to mention my bestfriends' (Phen and Ileen) visits. A very cheerful chit-chats over what's happening around. It somehow polished my guest-hosting which I've never practiced for so long now since I used to be a guest, always. =)

Away In The Land Of The Rising Sun

It will be a week this Saturday when my husband left for a 2-month business trip. I can still feel how sad we were when we exchanged our poignant goodbyes. Two weeks before his scheduled trip, I was the one who always cry because of sadness since he'll be leaving me and our baby very soon. He told me not to weep since the trip will be for our good financially and he's already ashamed to decline the project offer for the fifth time. But it really broke my heart when I saw him cry the dawn we see him off. We promised each other not to cry on the departure date. He broke it, I consoled him instead.

I'm unhappy knowing that this is our first child and he can't be with her during her first months. Not to mention that I am still recovering from a surgical delivery and I need him badly beside me. But life has to move on for us. I'm just very grateful that I'm very well taken cared of by my in-laws. All the support and care that I can never imagine. For now I have to be contented with the nightly chat with my hubby. I wish I could be there with him, to cook his food, prepare his clothes and simply take care of him.

Four years in relationship and months of marriage, we still hate being away from each other. He had numerous business trips before and every separation is painful. And like his every homecoming, I'm now counting the days of that blissful moment.

Giving Birth

The day was December 27, 2005. It was just a normal day for my routine pre-natal check-up but arrived in the hospital at 3cm already without any pains, symptoms or whatsoever. We were ready though coz we already brought all the things needed in case I'll be induced by my OB because our baby is growing large at 38 weeks. I was prepared by all the nurses, midwives and interns for the labor, checking on all my vital signs, contractions and cleaning my body. I'm keeping myself brave with prayers while I was in the pre-labor room.

My OB came and directed an induced labor by giving Oxytocin to rupture my water bag. I waited in the labor room. An intern named Andrea closely monitored the contractions, baby movements and vital signs. After an hour of being induced, she found out my baby's position was no longer cephalic but oblique, turning I think about 20-30 degrees to my right. It was a crucial moment since she seemed can't contact my OB which was very busy at that time and my bag could rupture anytime. While waiting for about 30 minutes, I prayed very hard for my baby to turn for normal delivery but it never happened. As soon as they got in touch with my OB, I was ordered for stat CS, meaning I can no longer proceed with normal delivery but had to undergo CS operation immediately.

There were many thoughts running inside my mind. I don't want my first childbirth to be a cesarean. I've been tediously preparing my body and myself for the pain of normal delivery. There was a moment in the labor room, though afraid to, I asked God why this happened at the last minute. But still, I told Him I'll surrender everything to His will for me and our baby.

I was immediately brought to the operating room after being cleaned for the second time. The OR's very cold, I'm merely wearing a sheer hospital gown. The anesthesiologist came with his sidekick and I chatted with them to calm myself. The OR team passed the time chatting while waiting for my OB while I'm praying very hard until I drowsed to sleep. The OB came an hour and a half after and the room became very busy.

I still remember all the sequence of events. I was given a spinal block, my lower body became numb and they cleaned it again for the last time, the anesthesiologist was standing beside my head and kept talking to me perhaps to check on my consciousness, equipments were counted twice, my OB ordered the blades (there were two). Though I can barely see my abdomen via the OR lamp's reflection, I didn't do it because of fear. Not until I heard a cry and the first thing I saw was the hairy head of my baby. The OR was filled with my baby's cry until she was brought out to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). The last sight I saw on my abdomen was an aluminum bowl full of bloody stuffs. They might be cleaning the mess at that time.

Although I've questioned God's will for me in some way, I realized that His plan is always perfect. My baby turned oblique at the last minute and had to be delivered surgically because of short cord, meconium (she pooed inside) and she's plainly too big for a normal delivery (at 8.3 lbs).

Giving birth to my baby took me only 6 hours from the time I was admitted to the pre-labor room. I even didn't experience much pains from what I've expected. Perhaps my prayers worked anyhow. What's keeping me strong during the process was I always bear in mind that all the pains I have to undergo in the delivery is nothing compared to all the physical and emotional sufferings Jesus went through the cross for our salvation.

I made it! I'm a certified mother now, ready to raise another child of God.