Balance

I bumped into a blog of a wife's point of view regarding the limitations of a person who entered into married life. I only agree to her point that family should come first, above all the affairs at work, among all others. But definitely not on the premise that all the time aside from work must be spent solely to be with the family and never to go out with friends or co-workers to socialize or have some clean fun. And most especially, to reject all invitations for the reason that all free time must be spent bonding with the spouse and the kids. I should say that there must always be a balance on everything.

I believe that to each her own. As for our case, we always honor all the invitations given to us unless we already had prior commitments, we are sick, we wanted to have some time off from our busy schedule, and our worst reason is we don't feel like coming to the affair. The very reason why we always want to grace all invitations with our presence is we love to go to merry occasions and we enjoy the company of friends. We don't want a rebound; friends rejecting our invitations which is saddening.

Marriage is not supposed to be an imprisonment. It's true that marriage makes the husband and the wife become one, but not too literally to become physically one, to be always together. There are times that couples do things together and times spent doing things without each other. The balance will help keep the relationship healthy.

I remember some occasions when I pushed my husband to go and meet up with friends to unwind and catch up with them. His circle must not only consists of "US", he must also extend it to relatives, friends and co-workers coz there will definitely come a time that when things go wrong, those people might just come as saving grace. There are some incidents when I bring him along with me when its my time to go out with friends. We allow each other to have some sort of clean fun with other people as long as we don't abandoned our family's needs (i.e. food, security, etc.), it' not very frequent like every week, or that will lead to philandering.

Marvin and I work in the same company, but we don't meddle much on each other's matters at work although we do talk about it everyday. Communication and respect are some basic roots for a problem-free relationship. We respect all the decisions we make but not those that would jeopardize our family and relationship. We always support each other on the things we wanted to do and achieve because we don't want the time would come that we'll feel very sorry for hindering each other's desires and happiness. This I think might be one of the reasons why some marriages fail; spouses tend to be choked and confined with rules.

It must be that I'm a career woman and I chose to juggle my time with my husband, my daughter, my friends and the demands at work. I may not have experienced yet problems when all those balls that I've been juggling falls altogether, demanding me to catch them all. But when that time comes my husband and my kids will always be on my top priority.