Balance

I bumped into a blog of a wife's point of view regarding the limitations of a person who entered into married life. I only agree to her point that family should come first, above all the affairs at work, among all others. But definitely not on the premise that all the time aside from work must be spent solely to be with the family and never to go out with friends or co-workers to socialize or have some clean fun. And most especially, to reject all invitations for the reason that all free time must be spent bonding with the spouse and the kids. I should say that there must always be a balance on everything.

I believe that to each her own. As for our case, we always honor all the invitations given to us unless we already had prior commitments, we are sick, we wanted to have some time off from our busy schedule, and our worst reason is we don't feel like coming to the affair. The very reason why we always want to grace all invitations with our presence is we love to go to merry occasions and we enjoy the company of friends. We don't want a rebound; friends rejecting our invitations which is saddening.

Marriage is not supposed to be an imprisonment. It's true that marriage makes the husband and the wife become one, but not too literally to become physically one, to be always together. There are times that couples do things together and times spent doing things without each other. The balance will help keep the relationship healthy.

I remember some occasions when I pushed my husband to go and meet up with friends to unwind and catch up with them. His circle must not only consists of "US", he must also extend it to relatives, friends and co-workers coz there will definitely come a time that when things go wrong, those people might just come as saving grace. There are some incidents when I bring him along with me when its my time to go out with friends. We allow each other to have some sort of clean fun with other people as long as we don't abandoned our family's needs (i.e. food, security, etc.), it' not very frequent like every week, or that will lead to philandering.

Marvin and I work in the same company, but we don't meddle much on each other's matters at work although we do talk about it everyday. Communication and respect are some basic roots for a problem-free relationship. We respect all the decisions we make but not those that would jeopardize our family and relationship. We always support each other on the things we wanted to do and achieve because we don't want the time would come that we'll feel very sorry for hindering each other's desires and happiness. This I think might be one of the reasons why some marriages fail; spouses tend to be choked and confined with rules.

It must be that I'm a career woman and I chose to juggle my time with my husband, my daughter, my friends and the demands at work. I may not have experienced yet problems when all those balls that I've been juggling falls altogether, demanding me to catch them all. But when that time comes my husband and my kids will always be on my top priority.

Which Road To Take?

Everytime I'm caught into a situation where there's a need to make a decision that would create a big impact on my future, I always remember this poem from Robert Frost. There were so many times I attempted to create an entry of this poem in this blog, but it seemed those prior decisions I was about to make were not that intense as the one Marvin and I am facing right now.

A one-year assignment in Japan. That means leaving Marvin and our 13-month baby behind. Not to mention the ongoing execution of our plans for this year. And some plans would be left done and undone without me. Gosh, a year of separation would seemed like eternity.

We just can't turn down this offer. It's very attractive financially speaking, so as the travel opportunity and skills upgrade. But this entails a great deal of sacrifice for us. Hope we can come up with a very wise decision within the week.



The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I?
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Denmark & Canada's Fireworks

At long last. We were able to witness the pyro-olympics without any hassles. Except for finding the right location to set-up our humble gears by the seawall. Although we bought tickets so we can access the promenade, there are still a lot of people who came earlier than us that occupied the best slots. I thought we can never have a decent shot again because of the crowd. But here are some samples merely taken by amateur and trying-hard photographers using our semi-DSLR gear.

DENMARK

CANADA

World Pyro-Traffic Day

We're very eager to witness the first day of the 2nd World Fireworks Olympics to be held at SM Mall of Asia's promenade. It's our first time to practice shooting fireworks using our meek Sony R1. Our excitement turned into dreariness due to what we thought of just a Friday-night traffic. But it wasn't that since we've been traveling for 2 hours or so already from Ortigas to Makati. We left the office early just to make it to the 8pm fireworks show. What we never anticipated is that everybody are all going to the same venue which caused the tremendous traffic all around the metro. Imagine the stretch of Edsa from Timog to Mall of Asia was all jam-packed with vehicles as well as all the other alternative routes.

Marvin and I had our own inklings. He thought it's really a bad idea to watch the show on its first day coz a lot of people might attend since it's the opening night. Not to mention that the previous year's champion which was Australia was scheduled on the first day. On the contrary, I thought it would also be a bad idea if we go there on weekends since a lot of people are free, employees don't have work and students have no classes. I was truly wrong big time. Sometimes I have to follow my hubby's intuitions. =)

I shoot my own version of fireworks display I observed on the confines of the traffic. And this is how it went.


Now beat this. I coincidentally captured Australia's famous heart-shaped feat.

Holiday Rush

Five days before Christmas and we haven't bought any gifts yet. We thought people might understand that we're on austerity after all our tremendous expenditures this year. But exchanging gifts after dinner during Christmas eve has been a tradition by the Candazo's. Besides, nothing and nobody can really stop Christmas so as the essence of it which is giving.

So after a scanty planning for about twenty minutes of what to give to whom, we rush to buy the presents. We considered it a record breaking feat we've done so far. I used to shop one whole day just to buy a single item; a dress, shirt or jeans. But the pressure made us finish our task within the day. It's unimaginable but we made it. In fact, I still had the energy to wrap it up very nicely albeit the late hours.

I'm not sure what came to me today, it might be because I'm already off from work, or perhaps I'm excited and mad about celebrating Christmas with my Marvin and Bea =)

Go Krispy or Nuts on Donuts

We just had our first taste of America's most famous doughnut, Krispy Kreme, courtesy of Di (my pretty sis-in-law). She bought it from the first branch at The Fort Strip. Marv and I knew that they'll be opening a franchised branch here in the Philippines but we never expected it so soon. Very lucky for the owners of Max's Resto since they bagged the Krispy Kreme's franchise.

Though it's already too late and we've had our hearty dinner already, we didn't have second thoughts on getting one donut each to taste. Well, I can't really become a food critic since I'm so hard to please. I thought I'll be tasting a super-delicious-and-unique-tasting doughnut, I thought I just did, BUT.... it still taste as doughnuts.. hihihi.

When Go Nuts Donuts claimed that their donuts tasted like the Krispy Kreme of US, I was one of the many people who waited on long queues just to get a box of donuts. Since Go Nuts donuts' taste, flavors and texture were unique from the donuts of Mr Donut and Dunkin, I got very addicted. Marvin and I can eat three to four donuts at once. Not until we were fed up with too much sweetness, the after taste (especially after a burp) and the increasing price that eventually put an end to our addiction. As for Krispy Kreme, the taste and texture compared with Go Nuts is pretty much the same. Except that the former has volume on their dough, very soft, much less sweeter than the latter and the sugar coating somehow melts in your mouth. But it's too pricey at P30 each.

The box and label.

The tempting contents

Well, I might be lining up again for a box of Krispy Kreme donuts, not because I really love to eat it, but I want to join the craze and go on stargazing (read here). I have to join the fad once in a while, it may die soon afterall.

Focus

“This year is definitely not a good year for you. You’ve got a great amount of plans in your mind that you’re dying to do but none of them materialized and so you’ve been struggling a lot”, my bestfriend’s vietnamese mom’s fortune-teller-friend told me. “You must decide on what you really want to achieve”, she added. Me and Marvin, devout catholics, skeptic on fortune telling, who never rely our luck on superstitions just put on blank faces on her statements.

The encounter with someone who can somehow read our minds and predict our future was indeed an experience that opened our minds into a new dimension of thinking. Though we’re really skeptic on the process that we went through that day, it somehow made us reflect on the one thing that we lack or lost to say the least and that is focus. We’re about to fail and lose our plans because we tend to do and achieve everything.

Fifteen years ago, my mind was set to one thing and that is to be self-sufficient. It indeed happened after graduating from college and immediately landed on my aimed job. I was doing perfectly well at work so promotion came very easily. With my earnings that provided me more than enough for my needs, I was able to send a couple of my siblings to college and paid off our amortized house in the province. It was beyond what I thought I could do. To add up to my goals, with some wishes coupled with fervent prayers, I aimed to give birth to my own child and have a family by the age of 30. And so Marvin and Bea came to my life in His perfect time, in sync to my plans.

There may be a lot of reasons why I lost track on my goals. I know for one that my being such a control freak had something to do with it coz getting into marriage put me into some realm where my manipulative nature bumped into certain temporary boundaries I need to live with. Also, perhaps I no longer plan for myself but for the future of our family which caused my mind to clutter.

Similar to photography, it’s time to change lenses now and shoot targeted objects with clarity and perfection. =)

Memo

The incident that happened to me yesterday has got into my nerves but it stunned me when I even dreamt about it last night. So I decided to let it out via this writing.

I barely take my AM/lunch/PM breaks without getting my hands on my tasks. Perhaps I’ve got used to this kind of discipline in my 9 years of stay in the company I'm currently working with. Keeping myself busy rather than doing anything that don’t contribute to my skills and personal improvement. But something cropped up yesterday that changed my paradigm at work. This is the very first time that I received a verbal warning via email about the most trivial offense I’ve committed in lieu to our office policy on work schedule (break-time). That is brushing my teeth approximately an hour after our lunch break.

Now hear me out.

What is 3 minutes of brushing my teeth compared to:

- the summed up hours that I spent in the company for free coz we’re not allowed to file overtime in fractions of an hour. I’ve been doing this for 5 years now.

- the times I didn’t take my break coz I opt to continue with my work.

- spending a quarter of my life loyally working for this company.

And how about:

- those in the 23rd floor that can freely do what they like coz nobody seemed to see nor be bothered by their violations.

- those employees who also broke the work schedule policy on break-time but were not apprehended coz nobody from the HR staff caught them in the act?

- those people in position who are also guilty of this policy, one way or another, coz they seemed to be working, pretending to be busy the whole day in front of their monitors, when in fact, their activities don’t concern work.

I’m not against the person who issued me the memo. Not because she is my friend and kumare but I understand that she’s just doing her job. What boils me to anger is if such policy exists, then all those responsible for its implementation must execute it by all means. Apprehension shouldn’t be a game of chance.

The law must apply to all or none at all.

The First Time I Loved Forever

During our meeting with the band that will play on our wedding, I was caught unprepared on my assignment of coming up with a song for my wedding march. There were a lot of titles they sang and suggested, usual favorites of the bride they said. But I never liked any of them. I sometimes don't settle for what is common. I always wanted to be unique. So to somehow show respect for their effort, I picked up a song from their list, temporarily, until I come up with the song of my own liking.

After cramming on some CDs and a lot of MP3 files saved to our PC, I instantly fell in love with this song after I’ve completely heard and read its lyrics. I chose it without any doubts and I never regret chosing it at all. My entrance at the church was never any more grand because of this song. It was very unique, solemn, lovely, full of emotions and touching. Even I cannot describe the way I felt while marching in the aisle. I told myself not to cry but the song hit me deeply, but still, I was able to manage a smirk.

Read on... this song says it all. I dedicate this to the only man in my life, my beloved Marvin.



Lyrics by Melanie Safka
Music by Lee Holdridge
Sung byLisa Angelle
(From "Beauty and the Beast")
With excerpts from the poem “Somewhere I Have Never Traveled, Gladly” by the American poet E.E. Cummings

Poem:
“Somewhere I have never traveled
Gladly beyond any experience
Your eyes have their silence
And your most frail gesture of things
Which enclose me
But which I cannot touch
Because they are too near.”


The first time I loved forever
Was when you whispered my name
And I knew at once you loved me
For the me of who I am

The first time I loved forever
I cast all else aside
And I bid my heart to follow
Be there no more need to hide

And if wishes and dreams
Are merely for children
And if love's a tale for fools
I'll live the dream with you

Poem:
“oh, if your words be to close me
I, my life will shut, very beautifully
Suddenly, as when the heart of this flower
Imagines the snow carefully, everywhere
descending”.

For all my life and forever
There's a truth I will always know
When my world divides and shatters
Your love is where I'll go

Poem:
“I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens. Only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses.
Nobody, not even the rain has such small hands.”

So long Rebong . . .

I'm posting this email as permitted by the writer, Jasper Roy L. Rebong, coz I find his last email from tspi.com.ph very amusing but with deeper meaning that will leave us pondering on our current work status.

By the way, Jasper is my classmate in college and we became officemates for 9 years until he resigned last month for a greener pasture in the land of the rising sun.

Enjoy reading =)


last words
from: jrebong@tspi.com.ph

What's the best thing about tsukiden?

Well, they gave me a break, allowed me to buy a car, the projects sharpened my c/c++ skills,I had new friends, meet new people, see japan, learned japanese.
To anyone and everyone who contributed to my growth -thank you. I hope I was able to contribute something to you too...

What's your most memorable experience during your stay here?

Here is my top six list (btw: most of them happened in japan)

6. I saw miss kimura smile.(btw: the smile was directed to Magsombol)

5. I ate sausages, and nothing but sausages for the whole week. I only stoped when my eyes started to go blind.

4. I tried to buy a prepaid card. I was explaining the concept to the store attendant, and after about 10 minutes of silently listening to my japanese explanation, he very slowly said (in english)- "oh, so you want to buy a prepaid card?"

3. I was PL of a very large project. Problem was, there were only 4 of us. The resulting bug list took5 minutes to open. The reset bugs alone numbered nearly into the hundreds..
After that project, the japanese manager was promptly re-assigned and was never heard of again..(I think he might have killed himself)
*So ye gads, please, please, always do proper estimates*

2. I passed an english document to a client, and some other japanese rose up and explained why the document's grammar was bad, etc.. etc.. I was boiling in anger inside and it was a good thing my manager was near me beacuse I was nearly tempted tosay "Oh, so you know english? I didnt think it was supposed tobe funny".

1. So I was sitting in my chair teaching an impressionable young engineer, when I felt the need to discharge some uh.. gases.. anyway, he resulting smell was so putrid I nearly fell off my chair.. But get this, the engineer pretended not to notice and decides to hide his disgust by pretending to scratch his nose. (I guess he didnt want to offend me. )If I look close enough, I can even see tears starting to form from his eyes. After that I excused myself and went to the bathroom to die in uncontrollable laughter..

Good Times!

btw: the engineer was not a "he" - it was a "she".

What's the worst thing about tsukiden?

Sing this in the parokya tune
Meron ba kayong position after manager?
-> wala
Meron ba kayong retirement plan?
-> wala rin po
Meron ba kayong car plan?
-> ubos na po

Okay, be serious...

Okay, before i say anythings, let me say that I have had my share of defects. I'm inherently lazy. I tend to just do the minimum requirements of the job and not much else. However with that said, there is one thing I'm not guilty of.

This -

Some engineers, PL, JS, S, EM go to work everyday, day after day after day, and show no noticable improvement. Neither in technical, nor in japanese, nor in management. Sometimes, not even in their interpersonal skills...
I mean c'mon, I'f youre doing something everyday for the last five years, wouldn't you at least become proficient in it? Its counter-intuitive, but it happens all the time.

To give a specific example, raise your hand if you
a.) Was able to pass level 3 or level 2
b.) Learn a new programming language
c.) Learned a new library, a new function call, maybe a new design pattern in the programming language he/she does know
d.) Learn and "applied" a new management technique
e.) Made a new friend?

I dont know - Maybe you think the good times wont change?Maybe layoffs and the likes wont happen. No? No chance of that happening? Really? Okkaayyy... but dont say I didnt try to warn you.. *whistles*

(Anyway, And this really gets to me - worst of all, you show nothing, zilch, zero, null, 0x0000h, maru, rei, nada. But you have the gall to expect promotion... As some of my lady friends used to say "The nerve...")

But anyway, to each his own i guess...

Why did I do it?

a) Its all about the benjamins(or in this case the hirohito's)
b) Prairie is too hard. I bailed out before the proverbial alien matter hits the fan.
c) I wanted to be be able to come back, wearing a white hat, unbuttoned flowery shirt, and yellow large necklaces. I will then proceed to say loudly "And init naman dito sa pinas", while wiping my forehead while my face is contorted in a picture of genuine disgust.

No really, why did you do it?

I just have this wanderlust. This need to travel. To see the world, to read another page of the book so to speak.I want to wake up one morning and be able to say to my wife - "Come on baby, pack your bags,we're going to the bahamas". You know, that costs money.The only way I can do such a thing is if I cut my spending and save everything till I have enough - or I can try to find a job which will allow me to earn the money necessary to finance such activities.

Guess which way I chose?

Besides I really want to be able to say "Anginitnamanditosapinas".I've even registered a site for it.
Go check it out:www.anginitnamanditosapinas.com.ph

just joking guys (or am I?)

Anyway, I hope we see each other again.Some more than others.. haha..(just joking2x)

ja ne..