Making Decisions

We noticed that when the year 2007 started, we were bombarded with a lot of big opportunities that entail us to discuss, brainstorm and argue in order to come up with decisions we deemed wise.

Last month was the job assignment in Japan which I rejected due to reasons that I cannot afford to leave my spouse with our 14-month old baby for a long period of time and there are some very important family plans we need to execute this year. We admit coming up with such a decision is very difficult for us. If we only let ourselves be lured with the financial gains that overseas assignment bids then our decision is otherwise. Money is always one of the deciding factors indeed. But we stood firm on our decision and we are happy with it, no feeling of remorse whatsoever.

We may find the answer if we closely discern what's behind our decision which we thought of a million times to refuse the job assignment in Japan. Right now we face again one of the biggest crossroads we've been into so far. The most awaited letter from the embassy Marvin applied for a citizenship approximately five years ago arrived last night requesting for an update on some documents to push through with the application process. But why the excitement we're suppose to feel was replaced with anxiety and apprehensions? Probably because a lot of things have already changed, priorities placed on position, plans while on the waiting period are on the verge of execution and we already are three now (Marvin applied when he was still single).

(URGENT: we should comply with the requirements within 60 days)

Coming up with a decision might not be as difficult as we expect if we only don't have a kid. We'll not be having second thoughts if it's currently Marvin and I to leave. Don't get us wrong on blaming our darling Bea, we're just unselfishly deciding because we don't want to subject her to immense changes if we decide to migrate overseas. It's no simple life migrating abroad without family and relatives to inhabit with. We're not comfortable envisioning our first months or years there acquiring a permanent job to sustain our family's needs. It's obvious that only my husband can work full time since I'll be taking care of our daughter. This is where fear started to creep because our current condition here in the Philippines is still tolerable somehow. It's the fear for the unknown.

Pessimism might have clouded our decision making because it was fear we first started to feel. On the other side of the coin, our life overseas might just be the one we've always been dreaming of. There's always this premise that no guts no glory. If we could withstand the birth pains of pursuing life outside our country land, using the best of our abilities and skills to survive then we'll most likely to succeed.

Whatever our decision may be, we'll see to it that it has been seriously thought upon countless times because it will change our life forever. We hope that God will always guide us and let His will be done on our family.

Parental Authority

Our little one is growing so fast. In two to three years time she'll gonna be a full blown toddler. Now why am I getting anxious on that progress? Because she'll start learning a lot, from the things she see and hear, from the people she spent most of the time with, from everything around her environment. There are other reasons and issues - much more serious ones.

In our situation where we follow the exceptional rule of having a two-income family, as working parents, we count on a househelp and Marvin's mom to take care of Bea in our absence, which we feel our daughter is in good and capable hands. We need to make a living to support our family and our child and children to be. Well, ideally, no one should have a child until one is financially and emotionally prepared for parenthood, but the ideal is hardly the rule. Or should I say that some part of the history repeats itself. Both Marvin's parents are also working professionals and he and his siblings were also taken under their grannies care while their parents are away. I too am a granny's girl, living with them for almost a year or so during my pre-school years.

At the outset, I find it perfectly OK with grandparents babysitting their grandchildren during the day when both parents are at work. So long as the child is still able to distinguish between the real parents and grandparents and is able to discern who exercises real parental authority. My concern is if our child recognizes the other way, accepting no other parental authority than the grandparents.

I'm not writing this against my very kind mother-in-law but these are just some apprehensions I can't avoid to think about. Some fears that may or possibly wouldn't happen in any way.

Marvin and I and Bea's grandparents might be sharing the same belief and principles on child-raising, both being brought up in a traditional family, we may not have serious issues over this matter. But then I still believe in the "generation-gap" phenomenon, on the difference between child raising practices 20-30 years ago. This is not limited to this issue alone since I also consider the issue on discipline. Grandparents are notorious for spoiling their grandchildren, which might be a manifestation of how a person mellows down with age.

We may not have totally surrendered our parental authority to Bea's grannies but overall, we are still confined to their rules since they're our parents and we co-exist with them in the same house. It might be confusing to our young child being subjected with two different sets of rules imposed by two different parental authorities. But we can't just simply take away from them their source of joy which I think fills a void in their lives during their twilight years. Maybe, when we too become much older, we'll also seek our grandchildren the way a typical granny does. But definitely for me, I'll keep my hands off raising them and allowing my children to have their rights exercised on what they believe it is best for them to raise their children. Mothers might know best, but I'll never subject them to parental authority tug-of-war unless they've deeply urged me to do so. =)

Public Exposure

It was the first time that we brought our little girl Bea with us in a company event. We should've already done it during the Family Day last year but she's still months old. Besides, the office premises might just harm her with most of the employees having cough and colds during that time. But this time, the company outing at Caliraya Recreation Center at Lumban Laguna added to her experience to socialize with other people, ride different means of transportation (a boat and a jeepney) and let her be in other places away from home.
She enjoyed a lot even of she wasn't able to plunge into the pool because of the windy weather, it's cold. We thought she can show off the very cute two-piece bikini I bought for her =). Anyway, we still had a good time watching the games played by inter-department, strolling around the place, reading the books and playing the toys we brought for her. She likes book a lot by the way.
Til our next escapade! =)

Unwind

The preparations' the biggest production so far. Imagine almost a month of planning for just an overnight stay for a milestone party. Exchange of emails during work hours for the planning of committees and assignments is so much fun. The preparation is already some sort of relaxation for us behind our very toxic work. And the excitement is somehow killing us as the days come to near. It's suppose to be our team's milestone event but other co-business unit members were able to come with us, at their own expense, which made the event more enjoyable.


We had our first stop at SLEX Petron to assemble the convoy. After which, the next assembly was after Star Tollway at Lipa exit. The bad thing that happened to us was getting lost. Burn the map! Or should I say punish the head of the convoy who didn't follow directions which caused a bit of traffic on the two-lane street at Lipa after 7 cars are turning back. =)

The place may not be too exceptional since I used to live in Davao surrounded by beautiful beaches. Anilao is famous for its rocky coast. But we still had a good time. Marvin and I just opt to prepare the food for the group and hone our photography skills instead of plunging in the waters. At night, we had a few drinks, indulge in merry-making and snugly rested at our beds before midnight since we still need to be at Tagaytay in the morning to be with our little girl who was brought there by her grannies.
All that starts well, indeed ends well. We hope that there'll be another event such as this so we'll not always be thinking about work and the office. =)

Balance

I bumped into a blog of a wife's point of view regarding the limitations of a person who entered into married life. I only agree to her point that family should come first, above all the affairs at work, among all others. But definitely not on the premise that all the time aside from work must be spent solely to be with the family and never to go out with friends or co-workers to socialize or have some clean fun. And most especially, to reject all invitations for the reason that all free time must be spent bonding with the spouse and the kids. I should say that there must always be a balance on everything.

I believe that to each her own. As for our case, we always honor all the invitations given to us unless we already had prior commitments, we are sick, we wanted to have some time off from our busy schedule, and our worst reason is we don't feel like coming to the affair. The very reason why we always want to grace all invitations with our presence is we love to go to merry occasions and we enjoy the company of friends. We don't want a rebound; friends rejecting our invitations which is saddening.

Marriage is not supposed to be an imprisonment. It's true that marriage makes the husband and the wife become one, but not too literally to become physically one, to be always together. There are times that couples do things together and times spent doing things without each other. The balance will help keep the relationship healthy.

I remember some occasions when I pushed my husband to go and meet up with friends to unwind and catch up with them. His circle must not only consists of "US", he must also extend it to relatives, friends and co-workers coz there will definitely come a time that when things go wrong, those people might just come as saving grace. There are some incidents when I bring him along with me when its my time to go out with friends. We allow each other to have some sort of clean fun with other people as long as we don't abandoned our family's needs (i.e. food, security, etc.), it' not very frequent like every week, or that will lead to philandering.

Marvin and I work in the same company, but we don't meddle much on each other's matters at work although we do talk about it everyday. Communication and respect are some basic roots for a problem-free relationship. We respect all the decisions we make but not those that would jeopardize our family and relationship. We always support each other on the things we wanted to do and achieve because we don't want the time would come that we'll feel very sorry for hindering each other's desires and happiness. This I think might be one of the reasons why some marriages fail; spouses tend to be choked and confined with rules.

It must be that I'm a career woman and I chose to juggle my time with my husband, my daughter, my friends and the demands at work. I may not have experienced yet problems when all those balls that I've been juggling falls altogether, demanding me to catch them all. But when that time comes my husband and my kids will always be on my top priority.

Which Road To Take?

Everytime I'm caught into a situation where there's a need to make a decision that would create a big impact on my future, I always remember this poem from Robert Frost. There were so many times I attempted to create an entry of this poem in this blog, but it seemed those prior decisions I was about to make were not that intense as the one Marvin and I am facing right now.

A one-year assignment in Japan. That means leaving Marvin and our 13-month baby behind. Not to mention the ongoing execution of our plans for this year. And some plans would be left done and undone without me. Gosh, a year of separation would seemed like eternity.

We just can't turn down this offer. It's very attractive financially speaking, so as the travel opportunity and skills upgrade. But this entails a great deal of sacrifice for us. Hope we can come up with a very wise decision within the week.



The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I?
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Denmark & Canada's Fireworks

At long last. We were able to witness the pyro-olympics without any hassles. Except for finding the right location to set-up our humble gears by the seawall. Although we bought tickets so we can access the promenade, there are still a lot of people who came earlier than us that occupied the best slots. I thought we can never have a decent shot again because of the crowd. But here are some samples merely taken by amateur and trying-hard photographers using our semi-DSLR gear.

DENMARK

CANADA

World Pyro-Traffic Day

We're very eager to witness the first day of the 2nd World Fireworks Olympics to be held at SM Mall of Asia's promenade. It's our first time to practice shooting fireworks using our meek Sony R1. Our excitement turned into dreariness due to what we thought of just a Friday-night traffic. But it wasn't that since we've been traveling for 2 hours or so already from Ortigas to Makati. We left the office early just to make it to the 8pm fireworks show. What we never anticipated is that everybody are all going to the same venue which caused the tremendous traffic all around the metro. Imagine the stretch of Edsa from Timog to Mall of Asia was all jam-packed with vehicles as well as all the other alternative routes.

Marvin and I had our own inklings. He thought it's really a bad idea to watch the show on its first day coz a lot of people might attend since it's the opening night. Not to mention that the previous year's champion which was Australia was scheduled on the first day. On the contrary, I thought it would also be a bad idea if we go there on weekends since a lot of people are free, employees don't have work and students have no classes. I was truly wrong big time. Sometimes I have to follow my hubby's intuitions. =)

I shoot my own version of fireworks display I observed on the confines of the traffic. And this is how it went.


Now beat this. I coincidentally captured Australia's famous heart-shaped feat.

Holiday Rush

Five days before Christmas and we haven't bought any gifts yet. We thought people might understand that we're on austerity after all our tremendous expenditures this year. But exchanging gifts after dinner during Christmas eve has been a tradition by the Candazo's. Besides, nothing and nobody can really stop Christmas so as the essence of it which is giving.

So after a scanty planning for about twenty minutes of what to give to whom, we rush to buy the presents. We considered it a record breaking feat we've done so far. I used to shop one whole day just to buy a single item; a dress, shirt or jeans. But the pressure made us finish our task within the day. It's unimaginable but we made it. In fact, I still had the energy to wrap it up very nicely albeit the late hours.

I'm not sure what came to me today, it might be because I'm already off from work, or perhaps I'm excited and mad about celebrating Christmas with my Marvin and Bea =)

Go Krispy or Nuts on Donuts

We just had our first taste of America's most famous doughnut, Krispy Kreme, courtesy of Di (my pretty sis-in-law). She bought it from the first branch at The Fort Strip. Marv and I knew that they'll be opening a franchised branch here in the Philippines but we never expected it so soon. Very lucky for the owners of Max's Resto since they bagged the Krispy Kreme's franchise.

Though it's already too late and we've had our hearty dinner already, we didn't have second thoughts on getting one donut each to taste. Well, I can't really become a food critic since I'm so hard to please. I thought I'll be tasting a super-delicious-and-unique-tasting doughnut, I thought I just did, BUT.... it still taste as doughnuts.. hihihi.

When Go Nuts Donuts claimed that their donuts tasted like the Krispy Kreme of US, I was one of the many people who waited on long queues just to get a box of donuts. Since Go Nuts donuts' taste, flavors and texture were unique from the donuts of Mr Donut and Dunkin, I got very addicted. Marvin and I can eat three to four donuts at once. Not until we were fed up with too much sweetness, the after taste (especially after a burp) and the increasing price that eventually put an end to our addiction. As for Krispy Kreme, the taste and texture compared with Go Nuts is pretty much the same. Except that the former has volume on their dough, very soft, much less sweeter than the latter and the sugar coating somehow melts in your mouth. But it's too pricey at P30 each.

The box and label.

The tempting contents

Well, I might be lining up again for a box of Krispy Kreme donuts, not because I really love to eat it, but I want to join the craze and go on stargazing (read here). I have to join the fad once in a while, it may die soon afterall.